Tag Archives: resolution

goals not resolutions

Goals Not Resolutions

by habits, Uncategorized, ,

What's in a resolution

With the New Year fast approaching many people sit down to make up a list of resolutions. This year I will.....

  • Lose 20 pounds
  • Exercise every day
  • Eat right
  • Give up junk food
  • Insert your favorite resolution here

The problem with the concept of a resolution is that we go about it the wrong way. We write down the results we are looking for not how we plan to get there. We craft ultimatum statements and that ultimately sets us up for failure.

In order to be successful with your anticipated changes for the new year consider setting goals instead of creating resolutions. Goals are a desired outcome. They are not as finite as resolutions. If you do not live up to your resolution frequently you are left feeling discouraged and possibly have a loss of self-appreciation or self-confidence. You're also more likely to abandon it altogether (and perhaps any other resolutions that you formed at the same time).  With goals, however, the end result is planned for but not mandated. Along the way there may be reasons that you did not achieve your goal which you can examine and reconsider.  Or the goal may need to be modified along the way; because it's a goal there's room for that.

Creating goals

When creating goals there are a few things to consider. Because it's one of the most commonly chosen resolutions, we'll use an example of losing weight as a goal. Most people simply say that they will lose weight. They do not put qualifiers on the statement and do not think about how they will achieve their goal. Being prepared to think all the way through the goal helps to increase awareness and mindfulness and can increase your motivation and ultimate success.

  • What is your anticipated goal – to lose weight
  • Why do you want to achieve this goal – to look and feel better, so clothes fit better, to improve health
  • How much weight do you want to lose - is this goal realistic
  • How long do you think it will take you to achieve your goal – set realistic expectations for appropriate weight loss (you cannot lose 10 pounds in two weeks)
  • What are the steps required to achieve this goal – how will you have to change your nutritional plan and modify your eating patterns to achieve your goal
  • When do you plan to start the first step – choose a time that is workable, don't start the day after a huge holiday party when you are not focused
  • What do you need to do to start that first step – do you need a support person, a program, a goal buddy, or a written plan

Be realistic

Don't overwhelm yourself by setting too many goals at once. If you decide that in the next two weeks you are going to lose 20 pounds, start a new high-intensity exercise program, and give up your daily fast food run you may find yourself feeling overwhelmed.

When we try to do too much without planning and awareness we can be setting ourselves up for failure. On the other hand, reasonable expectations and a well-thought out plan can be the cornerstone to your success.  

And don't discount the need for a deeper level of support.  A friend or family member who can serve as an accountability buddy, or working with a coach who can nurture you and design a program that works for you.

Above all remember to be kind to yourself. A goal is a hoped for achievement. If you do not master your goal it is not because you have failed. It simply means that you were not able to get to where you thought you might. This gives you an opportunity to re-evaluate your goal and see if it needs to be adjusted or modified.

Most importantly, when working toward a goal remember to stop occasionally, look back at how far you've come. Perhaps you've lost less weight than you had hoped for but you've made significantly healthier food choices. Maybe you haven't been able to get to the gym every day like you had hoped, but when you do go you are feeling stronger and have more endurance. These are accomplishments to be proud of. Pat yourself on the back, review your plan and keep working towards your goal.

Auld Lang Syne

by gratitude, holidays, seasons, stress,

Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And auld lang syne? - Robert Burns

 

Auld lang syne, times gone by.  As the New Year fast approaches many of us think back on the year that has been and, of course, eagerly await the year to be.

For some reason, the celebration of New Year's is tied to an expectation of promises for the year ahead.  I will....lose weight, start to exercise, get more organized, anything that we think needs to be fixed.
 
The problem, as I see it, is that many people try to do this in an absolute fashion. It's all or nothing for the diet, the gym, the insert-your-choice-here. My trainer at the gym laughingly tells me that although the gym is starting to get very crowded these days I should be patient because in another 30 days it will empty out again.
 
People will start the New Year with good intentions and lots of motivation. But it is hard work and, if they've done no mental preparation other than making a vague promise to themselves, overwhelming.  It doesn't last long.
 
When I work with clients I encourage them to not work in absolutes.  If you slowly and mindfully make changes, just one or two at a time, they are more likely to stick. 
 
As an example, I have one client who is trying to break a fast food habit.  Instead of never ever ever going to a fast-food restaurant again, we started by having her give up the soda (that was her choice).  Then we began to cut down on the number of times she went out for fast food.  Next, it was to downsize the meal (get a Jr. burger and a small fries).  Eventually, it will not even be a temptation.
 
In the past, because she would say, "that's it, I'm never eating fast food again" she would not have much success and usually within 30 days found herself standing in line to order and feeling really bad about it. Feeling bad about it may be modestly motivating in the short term, but I believe it just helps build up that "I don't care" callus and gets in the way of making positive changes.
 
I don't make grand sweeping resolutions anymore.  I personally see no need to tie all my motivations and changes to one day. Instead, I try to live mindfully; to make thoughtful, achievable choices.  Don't make a huge, possibly overwhelming, promise to yourself later tonight. Consider a modest goal that, when you reach it, will make you feel good about yourself and encourage you to keep going.  
 
Some suggestions might be:
 
  • Adding a gratitude practice to your day - writing down five things a day that you are grateful for
  • Choosing to leave five minutes early for appointments to reduce stress
  • Planning to turn off or not answer the phone the first 15 minutes after you arrive home from work to give yourself some decompression time
  • Deciding that at least one day a week you will set a beautiful table for yourself and your family to eat dinner at
  • Choosing to eat one more piece of fruit or vegetable a day than you normally do
  • Drinking one (or one more) glass of water every day if you, like most people, don't drink enough
Think about what you want to achieve, why you want to accomplish that goal, and a small step as part of the process to get you there.  With this kind of mental preparation and reasonable expectations, you will achieve your goals.
 
Have a happy, healthy New Year, and be well.